Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
