Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
