She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
