Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
