last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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