But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
