Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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