I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
