I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
