Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
