Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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