Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
