accomplished twins. life is a go
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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