we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize