i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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