Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
