He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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