I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize