Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize