Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
