he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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