Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
