I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
