i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
