My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
