I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
