I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
