Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
