We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
