i don't like sucking hair
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
