why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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