you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
True college students do jello shots in the library
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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