I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
