I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize