please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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