after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
