At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
