we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
