so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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