Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
