Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
