i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
