I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
