just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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