Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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