Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
