after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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