This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just had sex on a roof
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
