i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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