3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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