So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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