Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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