FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
