Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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