can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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