New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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