i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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