I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
