Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
