she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
