do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
