I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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