trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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