i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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