I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
is that a dick in a sweater?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
